Forgotten Memory

“That’s stupid.”

Silence. The jaw dropping kind.

Tension slides out of my chest, pooling in my belly, deep and low and round, drowning my ovaries in its heaviness.

Dread, mixed with Knowing, now take residence in my chest.

Time really can stop. And, Dread and Knowing are a calming combination. Who knew?

Storm Season

The chopper box is flipped upside down, on the barn room – but the roof is gone – and the haymow is gone, too. This is not normal, not normal at all. This is what my parents didn’t want me to see? Ok. Yeah, this is scary. And it’s raining.

It’s more scary to see Dad cry, to run the front door and into the bedroom.

“It took the whole damn thing,” he said. THAT’S scary.

Dark nights pushing thunderstorms around that suddenly fall silent. That’s still scary.

“It.” “It” took the whole damn thing. I’m five. What is “it?” Candles burn. It’s dark outside. A fire truck backs up the driveway, the driver leaning out the door, in his tan firefighter jacket, trying to maneuver the truck backwards.

Now, I would ask, “Who drives a fire truck backwards?”

Food For Thought

In the grocery store today, I thought a lot about what I put into my body. I came armed with a list and a cookbook for ideas. For the most part, I only shopped the perimeter of the store, collecting fresh food in its various forms, and I have my reasons for this.

I’m training for a marathon. I’m also learning to cook. This combination allows me to be very intentional about what I eat and how I eat. Grocery store aisles cause can cause mental strife as I ponder every food’s value. Because I run a lot right now, I want quality food in my body for energy, along with food that lasts awhile so I’m not hungry all the time. Food is quite an investment, in more ways than one.